Best in the Elf-ing World
(Tales of the Gothic Warrior)
by Billy Wong
Lighthearted (but violent) fantasy action featuring one butt-kicking heroine.
When the world's greatest mixed martial arts fighter challenges goth singer and ultimate brawler Freya to a match, she eagerly accepts the chance to battle a legend. To her surprise, she soon receives an offer of training from an otherworldly visitor. What she doesn't know is that her elvish benefactor has plans for her beyond just a celebrity cage fight.
A short story. Fourth chronologically in the Gothic Warrior series, but the stories do not have to be read in order.
Freya sat in the corner of her band's studio, nostalgically watching the fantasy movie they had made based on her. While not completely true to life, the over the top action reminded her of treasured memories. After the evil billionaire Frederick Gamer was imprisoned for murder, she had come to almost regret turning him in. Sure, he deserved it for running an illegal fighting tournament with the goal of having fighters torn apart by his pet. But she secretly dreamed of receiving an invite to participate in such a tournament again.
She was still in her early twenties, yet felt somewhat old and jaded knowing there might be few worthy challenges left in the world for her iron fists, which had spelled the lizard-ape's doom. She hugged her sword Empty Blue close to her. An oversized prop used in music videos, the great blunt blade hid a live one that had killed a demon before.
"Oh Empty Blue," she whispered, woozy with drugs and drink, "sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I lived in a world of dragons and elves like the ones that inspired you."
"Freya, what's wrong?" her psychic bandmate Annabeth asked, seeing her glum look. "You look sad."
"I'm fine. I just haven't had a good fight in a while. Life gets boring when you're not being challenged."
"Then I might have good news. I had a dream you're about to have a great battle."
She sat up. "You mean like a vision-dream or a something-on-your-mind-dream?"
"A vision I think." Annabeth frowned. "But I wish you'd grow up and stop wanting to fight. You're always getting hurt so bad."
She'd taken four assault rifle bullets from Frederick Gamer's men. But she had still kicked the asses of the lizard-ape and a dozen guards. "It's not that bad for me. I'm the Gothic warrior you know." She stumbled up out of her seat. "And since the Gothic warrior's about to get a decent test again, I say we girls go out and celebrate."
"Are you sure you should do that? You're already all drunk and drugged up."
"So you can watch over me and keep me safe, Annabeth."
The smaller goth girl sighed, knowing she couldn't be denied. They got in Freya's car, Annabeth driving, and headed out.
Later that night, Freya sat feeling sluggish at her favorite bar. She threw back another shot of absinthe and wondered if Annabeth was enjoying her dance with that fanboy who had bothered her. She heard footsteps approaching from behind. "Annabeth you sound heavy. Are you drunk? Better not be."
"I'm not Annabeth," a cool voice said.
Freya glanced back. A big blonde woman stood behind her, maybe five ten, five eleven. She wore ample clothes, but seemed pretty sturdy underneath that jacket and sweatshirt. She was in her late twenties, or maybe early thirties, and her face looked to have been on the receiving end of quite a few brutal beatings. "And who's you?"
The woman didn't favor her with an answer. Instead she asked, "Do you think that you're the strongest girl in the world?"
"I don't know. Haven't had the pleasure of meeting every other girl. But I'm probably the strongest who's somewhat well known." Not a lot of females could snap the back of a gorilla sized lizard-ape over her knee or take dozens of punches and knees from giant men, after all.
"How quickly people forget." The woman sat beside her. She did look kind of familiar, now that Freya thought about it... "Bartender, remote."
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About the Author
Billy Wong is an avid fan of heroic fantasy, with a special love for strong female warriors. He draws inspiration from the epic legends of old, and is on a quest to bring over the top deeds and larger than life heroes back to prominence in today's literary world.
Billy lives in Coney Island, Brooklyn. He has written numerous fantasy books, including the Iron Flower series and the Gothic Warrior series. The Iron Flower series consists of Iron Bloom, Iron Flower, and Iron Bonds. The Gothic Warrior series consists of Gothic Warrior and the Dark Man, Seeds of Despair, Gothic Gladiator, and Best in the Elf-ing World.