REVIEW, GUEST POST, and INTERVIEW
Tame Your Inner Critic:
Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life on Purpose
Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life on Purpose
by Della Temple
Tame Your Inner Critic by Della Temple is the winner of both a 2016 Silver IPPY Award for Self-Help and the 2015 Silver Nautilus Award! The Independent Publisher Awards or IPPYs, are designed to bring increased recognition to the deserving but often unsung titles published by independent authors and publishers. The 2016 Independent Publisher Awards (IPPYs) were revealed via an announcement on their website. The Nautilus Book Awards is an annual accolade of books in the genre of social and environmental justice. The full list of 2015 winners will be posted on their website by the end of the month.
Author Della Temple joins us for an interview about her book Tame Your Inner Critic and to share a special guest post with us. You can also read my review.
Stop living with low self-esteem and heal your Inner Child.
Are you ready to take that next step? With over 40 exercises and meditations, Tame Your Inner Critic teaches you how to control the monkey mind, the self-defeating mind chatter that keeps you from living - and loving - your life!
Find ways to banish the voice that's keeping you small. Learn to ground to the earth, fill in with energies that are in alignment with your highest good and clear away the negative, self-defeating words that prevent you from living a life full of purpose and meaning.
Learn how the thoughts, feelings, judgments and criticisms of others can be swept away and replaced with the voice of your inner guidance, your Spirit. Find your true north - your own internal wisdom that is connected to the divine and gives you guidance. With specialized exercises and meditations, this book shows you how to banish negativity, improve your relationships, and realize new ways to share your gifts with the world around you.
Guest Post by the Author
For many of us, it’s pretty easy to be kind and compassionate to others. In fact we love being open-hearted and giving of spirit to our friends and loved ones. But what’s really hard is seeing those same qualities within ourselves; seeing ourselves as gentle, caring, loving people.
Why is it so hard to love ourselves fully and completely?
I believe the answer lies in becoming aware of how we talk to ourselves. If we step away from the negative self-talk, learn to nurture and care for our Spirit, we will allow our inner wisdom to shine through. By taming our inner critic, we learn to set aside the judgments, criticisms, and thoughts of others that keep us small. We rise above the pettiness of who said what to whom and how that made us feel. We learn to stand in our truth as we become our own best friend.
Sounds easy – but we are smart, intelligent people and if it was that easy we already would have done it! So what are we missing?
The Right Tools
Thoughts and feelings are energies, and all energy is in motion. So energy, in the form of thoughts and feelings travels from person to person. Your inner critic is a mash up of all the thoughts, feelings judgments and criticisms other people have sent your way over the years. These outside energies have mixed with your own truths, your own wisdom, and now you can’t tell one from the other. So we unwittingly accept it all – both outside energies and our own – as an accurate representation of our inner truth. But it’s not.
We need to remove the energies that are not ours so we can let our inner wisdom shine through.
One of the most useful ways to remove the energy that is not ours, is what I call a grounding cord. A grounding cord is an invisible energy cord that connects your body to the center of the earth. It acts like a vacuum cleaner, helping you efficiently release all those thoughts and feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. A grounding cord can be visualized as a hollow tube of energy with one end connected to your hips, and the other to the center of the earth. Through the force of gravity, your grounding cord will carry energy out of your body depositing it deep within the earth’s core. Energies that are not in affinity with your inner truths will be flushed out of your body, leaving more room for your inner wisdom to shine forth. As you allow your grounding cord to carry all that foreign energy away from your body, the whispers of your Spirit will grow in volume. There will be less room in your life for the "shoulds" of the world. What your relatives think and the hurts from childhood will take a back seat to your internal wisdom.
This I believe is one way to tame the inner critic, that voice of what others think we should be. As we drain out the thoughts and feelings of other people we leave more room for our inner wisdom to shine forth. We soon radiate this inner peace and serenity out into the world. We start to treat ourselves with kindness and gentleness. We become our own best friend.
Praise for the Book
"I love the fact that in addition to Della’s clairvoyance and psychic training she also has traditional education, training and experience in business, teaching and leadership. She is a truly 'grounded' and practical physic with a unique gift for healing. For anyone, like me, who has been terrorized by their own inner critic, I cannot recommend this book highly enough." ~ Heidi Green
"Della Temple breaks down incredibly profound concepts into accessible, uncomplicated messages. What a gift she has. The tools she provides in this book serve as a guiding voice, helpful when times are good and when times are hard. The initial read is fun an eye-opening. And beyond that, this book is a resource you can reach for whenever you'd like helpful reminders and practical guidance." ~ Lindsey Jean Bishop
"Della Temple has put a lot of thought, effort, and time into this book, and it truly is wonderful. We are usually our own worst critics, but that voice often overpowers the positive thinking that is more helpful to the psyche than the negative one. Della gives strategies and tips on how to bring a sense of peace to oneself." ~ Carrie Lou
"This book was perfect. Even as a busy mom of 3 boys, I was able to read and practice the exercises in this book. I was able to read the short chapters and practice each meditation in my small amount of 'me' time. The difference it has made in my ability to quiet the inner chatter and therefore aid me in being truly present for my boys has been wonderful for my whole family. I am truly grateful for this book. A must read for inner peace." ~ Nathan Glaser
"This book is not for the casual reader looking for an easy fix to their negative tendencies. You must be ready to fully dedicate yourself. You must set time aside to, not only read the chapters, but to give an honest effort to complete the activities that go along with the content. Taming your inner critic takes practice. But just as the concert pianist must dedicate themselves to their practice, the results will be beautiful. You will surely thank yourself for it." ~ Kimberly Bailey
By Lynda Dickson
Della Temple takes you on a journey of self-discovery, a journey towards discovering your life's purpose and sharing it with others. This book is a "handbook with tools, meditations, and thought-provoking exercises intended to get your creative juices flowing." The handy hyperlinked list of exercises at the beginning of the book makes it easy to find just what you're looking for when you dip back into this book. The first half of the book contains techniques designed to get your inner critic under control and listen to our inner Spirit. The second half of the book concentrates on how to live a life full of meaning and joy. Every chapter ends with energy pointers and helpful hints to enhance your learning and growth, as well as a hyperlink back to the table of contents. The resource section at the end of the book provides avenues of further study.
Throughout the book, the author uses meditations and tools, some of which are also discussed in her other book, Walking in Grace with Grief. Topics covered in Part 1 include centering, drawing a name web, removing foreign energy from your aura, the tapping technique, blowing up a rose, tapping into your Spirit, coming into alignment with your heart traits, writing your statement of being, drawing your tree of life, the art of saying no, using colorful soap bubbles, picturing your dream life, a throat-clearing exercise, creating a protective bubble around your aura, and understanding why you may overreact to a situation. Della even reveals the best beauty secret of all time!
Part 2 focuses on living your life on purpose and discusses the four keys required: havingness - the ability to "have" this new life by accepting the way things are but, knowing at the same time, that you can have more; the energy of money - accepting that money is neutral and merely a tool for exchanging one thing for another; manifesting - bringing your dreams into reality; and mindfulness - accepting yourself and other people as they are with compassion and grace. All of this leads to discovering your true life purpose. As Della states, "Our primary purpose in life is to remember who we really are and live our life on purpose."
This is a very comprehensive book and an indispensable tool for those looking to change their lives from within. Some readers may also find the companion Tame Your Inner Critic Workbook to be helpful. The major revelation for me is that you can't change events, all you can change is how your react to them. This book will help you discover your true purpose, at the same time helping you learn to love yourself and teaching you to be happy being you. "Remember, you ... are the creator or your own reality ... You get to choose."
Interview With the Author
Hi Della Temple, thanks for joining me today to discuss your book, Tame Your Inner Critic: Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life on Purpose.
Your title talks about two important things – taming the inner critic and finding and living a life of purpose and meaning. Tell me more about why you choose to write about these topics.
My inner critic used to be very loud and very obnoxious. It told me I couldn’t do many of the things I really wanted to do, that I was too small, too unprepared, too opinionated, or just not good enough. This voice told me that I needed to change, that I wasn’t good enough just as I was. I presented a great face to the world, yet deep within I was struggling with issues of self-worth and self-criticism. I had grown so used to the incessant negativity that I really believed I was deficient in some way.
I had read about the body’s energy system and had a hunch that greater understanding of auras, chakras, and the interplay between thoughts, feelings, and bodily reactions would lead to the peace and contentment I craved. So I enrolled in a beginner’s program at Boulder Psychic Institute. And lo and behold, as I did the work, my inner critic stopped nagging me. I wanted to write about my experience to help others find their own inner peace and contentment.
The first half of this book contains techniques designed to get your inner critic under control. The second half of the book concentrates on how to live a life full of meaning and joy. And finally, in the last chapter, the reader will put all the pieces together to discover their true life purpose and how to share that gift with the world.
Your book is full of exercises and meditations. Why did you choose this format?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our fairy godmother came down and, with a wave of her magic wand, made our inner critic disappear in a cloud of smoke? Sorry to say, it doesn’t work that way. We have to do the work. We have to participate in our growth and healing.
For me the best way of learning is through practice. So I wrote the book as more of a working handbook with tools, meditations, and thought-provoking exercises intended to get the creative juices flowing. I suggest that the reader set aside a quiet place to do the meditations and exercises in each chapter. They may choose to record their progress in a journal, or they may find the Tame Your Inner Critic Workbook helpful. Either way, I encourage the reader to take their time as they walk this path of discovery. The journey itself can be just as transformational as the final destination.
Before we go much further, can you explain a little bit more about the inner critic. I don’t think we’re born with one, so where does it come from?
Thoughts and feelings are energy and through our energetic body, (our aura and chakras) we exchange energy (thoughts, feelings and emotions) with our fellow inhabitants of the earth. As an example, when we think of someone, we transmit some of our energy from our aura into theirs. When a parent worries about a child, they may be sending a mixture of love, concern, and judgment energy into their child’s aura. A boss or a co-worker may send us a little bit of criticism energy mixed in with their morning hello. These outside energies combine with our own internal truths. Soon we are unable to tell one from the other, so we accept it all, as a right, accurate and exact portrayal of who we truly are. This I believe is the genesis of the inner critic. The judgments, criticisms and displeasure we feel about ourselves is energy we’ve unconsciously absorbed from the people in our lives.
I’m not a woo-woo kind of person. I like things I can see and feel. Help me understand this world of auras, chakras and energy medicine.
I’m not woo-woo either. In my business life I’ve been a CFO, a real estate agent, and a loan packager working with the SBA Minority and Women Loan Program. I am down to earth and very practical. But I know that we humans are more than just our skin bones and teeth. We are thinking, feeling, and spiritual beings.
In his book Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, Deepak Chopra calls a thought "an impulse of energy and information, like everything else in nature." Every person transmits energy and receives energy from others. You know this to be true because you’ve experienced other people’s thoughts and feelings. Maybe you’ve walked into a room right after an argument and noticed that the energy of the room felt like you could cut it with a knife. Or maybe you’ve been alone in a church or a spiritual sanctuary and felt the sacredness of the space.
While invisible to the naked eye, energy can be felt. And as we begin to really incorporate this belief into our daily lives, we begin to accept that there’s more to this world than we can see. Eastern mystics and philosophers have long believed in the human energy field. Western scientists are even getting on the band wagon, calling the aura an energy "bio-field". The topic of energy medicine is becoming main stream as people learn more and more about their energy bodies. I talk about chakras, auras and how energy travels between people in a very down to earth, realistic manner. I hope this book acts as an introduction to the world of energy – in a very common sense kind of way.
Can you give us examples of some of these energy tools you describe in the book?
Three of the most effective tools, and tools that I use in my personal life every single day, are grounding, filling in with a golden sun and blowing up a rose.
What’s a grounding cord?
We often store our unworthiness as tension in our body. A grounding cord is literally an energy cord that connects your body to the center of the earth. It acts like a vacuum cleaner, helping you efficiently release all those thoughts and feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.
Why is it important to be grounded?
When you are grounded you are connected to the physical world – the earth especially. From an energetic perspective, when you are grounded you’re not spacey or "out there", you are "grounded in reality". It’s very much like an electrical wiring ground in your house. The line is clearer when it’s grounded.
Can you explain blowing up a rose? It’s such a visceral image.
There are many fun ways to remove the thoughts and feeling of other people from your space and blowing up a rose is one of the best. Imagine a rose out in front of your closed eyes. Then place a giant magnet in the rose and ask the magnet to call to it any energy out of your body that’s not in affinity with you. Visualize the energy moving out of your heart, your mind, your big toe (!) and going into the magnet. Then when all of this type of energy is out of your body, put a big bomb underneath the rose and explode it! Isn’t that fun?
What’s filling in with a golden sun? It sounds like a good thing to do on a cold day.
The Golden Sun has two functions; one is to call back our own life force so that we can function at our full potential. The other is to offer us a way to replace the mind chatter with energies that are more in alignment with who we truly are. When we "fill in" with energies such as peace, love, and self-acceptance, we dilute the power of the lower vibrational energies (fear, anger, resentment) offering us one more way to tame our inner critic.
You’ve incorporated a lot of information in this book. What do you hope your readers take away from Tame Your Inner Critic?
I call reading this book a journey of discovery – uncovering clues to who you truly are and the gift you are meant to share with the world. I hope the reader will come to understand that they are sparks of the Divine, full of beauty and grace. We are all meant to shine: to shine bright and share our uniqueness with the world. Oftentimes the inner critic stops us from exploring those parts of ourselves. The inner critic tries to keep us small, corralled in the world of "have to" and "shoulds". But we are much more. We are spiritual beings inhabiting a physical body, and I hope the reader comes away feeling inspired to live their life their way, full of inner peace, grace and self-love.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by today, Della. Best of luck with your future projects.
About the Author
Della Temple writes about melding the worlds of the physical and the metaphysical. She combines her love of anything analytical with her wide-ranging interest in quantum physics and the world of energetic healing. She is a certified Reiki Master and has studied clairvoyance and psychic healing at Boulder Psychic Institute. She believes that being psychic is a very natural state of being. It is a skill, just like playing the piano or singing on key. It takes a teacher, a willingness on the part of the student to be receptive to new ideas, and some time spent in practice.
Della invites the reader to experience opening to their intuition on the journey toward discovering their life's purpose.