Monday, December 1, 2014

"Hooked" by Bobbi JG Weiss

by Bobbi JG Weiss

Author Bobbi JG Weiss joins me today to share an exclusive excerpt from her latest release, Hooked. We're also celebrating the fact that you can now get the ebook at the reduced price of $4.99 (save $4.00). So what are you waiting for? Grab your copy now!

He is not Captain Hook.
His name is Jonathan Stuart, and he’s just an ornery post-alcoholic bookstore owner from Pasadena with a mania for fencing and a bad habit of disappointing his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to be in the Neverland, impossibly trapped aboard the Jolly Roger with a horde of greedy stinking pirates. He was tricked there by Peter Pan.
Pan happily invites children to come to his wondrous magical island, but he has to trick adults. No adult in their right mind would go willingly. Adults, you see, don’t have a very good time in the Neverland. The fairies and mermaids are against them. The island itself is against them. Most of all, Peter Pan is against them.
In particular, Peter Pan is against Jonathan Stuart. Why? Jonathan had better figure that out, and he’d better do it fast before his mutating memories insist that, not only does he indeed belong in this nightmarish hell of bloodthirsty children, ticking crocodiles and vengeful boy gods, but he’s never existed anyplace else.
So you see, he’s definitely not Captain Hook.
Well, not yet.

Jukes fired.
Pan easily dodged the shot. His already rosy cheeks flushed to a deep crimson, and he jabbed an accusing finger at Stuart. “Truce off! Lost Boys attaaaaack!”
The Lost Boys produced knives, cutlasses, dirks and their one pilfered pistol and flew at the pirates from every direction, their young eyes bright with the adventure of battle. The pirates were always armed and ready, so they met the children steel against steel in a series of clangs and clashes.
War broke out aboard the Jolly Roger.
Stuart shook with rage. Not again! Not another insane battle! He fought his way over to where Jukes was dueling with Wendy’s brother John, their cutlasses flashing. “You idiot!” he yelled at Jukes, and decked him with a single roundhouse punch.
“Holy moley!” John spluttered. “Thank you, Captain!”
Stuart responded by plucking John’s cutlass right out of his hands. “Never play with sharp objects,” he said through his teeth.
John flew away in mute terror. Stuart lobbed the cutlass overboard, then turned back to the downed Jukes and kicked the unconscious man in the gut. “Idiot!” he repeated.
“Temper temper, Captain,” Pan said behind him.
Stuart whirled around in time to parry the attack. “You’re one to talk, you devil!” he said, and he pressed forward, engaging Pan’s blade again and again, driving him back until Pan bumped up against the main shrouds. The boy tried to escape by flying, but Stuart was expecting that and grabbed his ankle. “Gotcha!” he said, hauling Pan back down.
Pan shot up again, taking Stuart with him. “No, I’ve got you!” he laughed.
It had never occurred to Stuart that Pan could lift the weight of a grown man. If it had, he wouldn’t have grabbed his ankle. He had no idea how long he could hold on with one hand. He swiped with his saber, trying to cut Pan’s legs, but the boy kept kicking, knocking Stuart’s aim off.
They flew out over the water. Stuart had no intention of falling into the bay, so he took his only chance — as Pan zoomed past the foreshrouds, he let go of both saber and ankle and, as he dropped, scrambled frantically for the ratlines. He managed to grasp one, but his weight and momentum prevented him from getting a firm grip. He ended up sliding down the shrouds, catching and losing ratlines like a ball bouncing down stairs one at a time. Sheer desperation gave him a firm grip before he ran out of ratlines and tumbled into the water.
“Nice save,” Pan praised him, flying overhead. “But you dropped this.” He had retrieved Stuart’s saber. He held it out, pommel first, just out of Stuart’s reach.
It was infuriating. There was his sword, but Stuart couldn’t take it. There was nothing else to do but get back to the deck, no easy task while wearing Hook’s tailored clothes and a pair of jack boots. He pretended not to hear Pan and Wendy giggle as he monkeyed sideways, finally swinging himself over the rail and landing safely back on the deck.
Pan offered the saber once more, within reach this time. “O, what a gentleman I am!” he boasted happily.
Stuart took the weapon, panting. “You’re no gentleman. There isn’t an ounce of decency in you.”
At that, Pan lunged at him. Stuart parried, then chose a riposte even more unconventional than grabbing his opponent’s weapon — he slugged Pan in the gut.
Pan doubled over in the air. Stuart, taking full advantage, swung his blade in a powerful arc that knocked Pan’s cutlass out of his hand. It clattered to the deck. Stuart slammed a foot down on it. “Strike Two, pissant. Now let’s call it a draw.”

Featured Review
"This revisionist fantasy with provocative philosophical verve and depth incites empathy for a most engaging anti-hero while revealing the primal maliciousness imbedded within the tale of Peter Pan. Reclusive Jonathan Stuart inherits a living nightmare when he’s bequeathed an ancestral sword and the personal log of Jas. Hook, captain of the Jolly Roger. Prophetic nightmares, crumbling romance, and an unexpected pregnancy are only the start of Stuart’s problems. Soon he’s dragged into Never Land, a place where cruelty spreads with smiles and adults are denied death. Icons Wendy, Pan, and the Lost Boys are stripped of syrupy sentiment, and Stuart is forced to play pirate in a demon boy’s escapades. Weiss emphasizes the horrific heart of Faerie in a poetically lush exposé of fragile reality and tormented psyches." ~ Publishers Weekly

About the Author
Bobbi JG Weiss made her world debut one Christmas morning (cough-mutter-mutter) years ago, and as long as she can remember, she's wanted to be a writer. Why? She has no idea. Probably a birth defect.
After several "normal" jobs, her writing wishes came true - she and her husband/partner David Cody Weiss began to make their living as full-time freelance writers, focusing on Hollywood tie-in merchandise like movie/TV novel adaptations, comics, and other related and often ridiculous products (many of which can still be found on Amazon; see a full list here). After 20+ years of this kind of hooey, the "WeissGuys" decided to enter the wild world of self-publishing.
You can find more information about Bobbi and her books on her website. She also posts on Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Goodreads, and Facebook.