REDUCED
PRICE CELEBRATION
Hooked
by Bobbi
JG Weiss
Author Bobbi JG Weiss joins me today to share an exclusive excerpt from
her latest release, Hooked.
We're also celebrating the fact that you can now get the ebook at the reduced
price of $4.99 (save $4.00). So what are you waiting for? Grab your copy now!
Description
He is not Captain Hook.
His name is Jonathan Stuart, and he’s just an ornery post-alcoholic
bookstore owner from Pasadena with a mania for fencing and a bad habit of
disappointing his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to be in the Neverland,
impossibly trapped aboard the Jolly Roger
with a horde of greedy stinking pirates. He was tricked there by Peter Pan.
Pan happily invites children to come to his wondrous magical island, but
he has to trick adults. No adult in their right mind would go willingly.
Adults, you see, don’t have a very good time in the Neverland. The fairies and
mermaids are against them. The island itself is against them. Most of all,
Peter Pan is against them.
In particular, Peter Pan is against Jonathan Stuart. Why? Jonathan had
better figure that out, and he’d better do it fast before his mutating memories
insist that, not only does he indeed belong in this nightmarish hell of
bloodthirsty children, ticking crocodiles and vengeful boy gods, but he’s never
existed anyplace else.
So you see, he’s definitely not Captain Hook.
Well, not yet.
Excerpt
Jukes
fired.
Pan
easily dodged the shot. His already rosy cheeks flushed to a deep crimson, and
he jabbed an accusing finger at Stuart. “Truce off! Lost Boys attaaaaack!”
The
Lost Boys produced knives, cutlasses, dirks and their one pilfered pistol and
flew at the pirates from every direction, their young eyes bright with the
adventure of battle. The pirates were always armed and ready, so they met the
children steel against steel in a series of clangs and clashes.
War
broke out aboard the Jolly Roger.
Stuart
shook with rage. Not again! Not another insane battle! He fought his way over
to where Jukes was dueling with Wendy’s brother John, their cutlasses flashing.
“You idiot!” he yelled at Jukes, and decked him with a single roundhouse punch.
“Holy
moley!” John spluttered. “Thank you, Captain!”
Stuart
responded by plucking John’s cutlass right out of his hands. “Never play with
sharp objects,” he said through his teeth.
John
flew away in mute terror. Stuart lobbed the cutlass
overboard, then turned back to the downed Jukes and kicked the unconscious man
in the gut. “Idiot!” he repeated.
“Temper
temper, Captain,” Pan said behind him.
Stuart
whirled around in time to parry the attack. “You’re one to talk, you devil!” he
said, and he pressed forward, engaging Pan’s blade again and again, driving him
back until Pan bumped up against the main shrouds. The boy tried to escape by
flying, but Stuart was expecting that and grabbed his ankle. “Gotcha!” he said,
hauling Pan back down.
Pan
shot up again, taking Stuart with him. “No, I’ve got you!” he laughed.
It
had never occurred to Stuart that Pan could lift the weight of a grown man. If
it had, he wouldn’t have grabbed his ankle. He had no idea how long he could
hold on with one hand. He swiped with his saber, trying to cut Pan’s legs, but
the boy kept kicking, knocking Stuart’s aim off.
They
flew out over the water. Stuart had no intention of falling into the bay, so he
took his only chance — as Pan zoomed past the foreshrouds, he let go of both
saber and ankle and, as he dropped, scrambled frantically for the ratlines. He
managed to grasp one, but his weight and momentum prevented him from getting a
firm grip. He ended up sliding down the shrouds, catching and losing ratlines
like a ball bouncing down stairs one at a time. Sheer desperation gave him a
firm grip before he ran out of ratlines and tumbled into the water.
“Nice
save,” Pan praised him, flying overhead. “But you dropped this.” He had
retrieved Stuart’s saber. He held it out, pommel first, just out of Stuart’s
reach.
It
was infuriating. There was his sword, but Stuart couldn’t take it. There was
nothing else to do but get back to the deck, no easy task while wearing Hook’s
tailored clothes and a pair of jack boots. He pretended not to hear Pan and
Wendy giggle as he monkeyed sideways, finally swinging himself over the rail
and landing safely back on the deck.
Pan
offered the saber once more, within reach this time. “O, what a gentleman I
am!” he boasted happily.
Stuart
took the weapon, panting. “You’re no gentleman. There isn’t an ounce of decency
in you.”
At
that, Pan lunged at him. Stuart parried, then chose a riposte even more
unconventional than grabbing his opponent’s weapon — he slugged Pan in the gut.
Pan
doubled over in the air. Stuart, taking full advantage, swung his blade in a
powerful arc that knocked Pan’s cutlass out of his hand. It clattered to the
deck. Stuart slammed a foot down on it. “Strike Two, pissant. Now let’s
call it a draw.”
Featured Review
"This revisionist fantasy with provocative philosophical verve and
depth incites empathy for a most engaging anti-hero while revealing the primal
maliciousness imbedded within the tale of Peter Pan. Reclusive Jonathan Stuart
inherits a living nightmare when he’s bequeathed an ancestral sword and the
personal log of Jas. Hook, captain of the Jolly
Roger. Prophetic nightmares, crumbling romance, and an unexpected pregnancy
are only the start of Stuart’s problems. Soon he’s dragged into Never Land, a
place where cruelty spreads with smiles and adults are denied death. Icons
Wendy, Pan, and the Lost Boys are stripped of syrupy sentiment, and Stuart is
forced to play pirate in a demon boy’s escapades. Weiss emphasizes the horrific
heart of Faerie in a poetically lush exposé of fragile reality and tormented
psyches." ~ Publishers Weekly
About the Author
Bobbi JG Weiss made her world debut one Christmas morning
(cough-mutter-mutter) years ago, and as long as she can remember, she's wanted
to be a writer. Why? She has no idea. Probably a birth defect.
After several "normal" jobs, her writing wishes came true - she
and her husband/partner David Cody Weiss began to make their living as
full-time freelance writers, focusing on Hollywood tie-in merchandise like
movie/TV novel adaptations, comics, and other related and often ridiculous products
(many of which can still be found on Amazon; see a full list here). After 20+ years of
this kind of hooey, the "WeissGuys" decided to enter the wild world
of self-publishing.
You can find more information about Bobbi and her books on her website. She also posts on Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Goodreads,
and Facebook.
Links
