Monday, July 14, 2014

"The Baby and the Bride" by Laura Barnard

EXCERPT
The Baby & the Bride
by Laura Barnard


The Baby & the Bride is the sequel to The Debt & the Doormat, which is currently FREE.


Description
Poppy and Jazz’s lives sound perfect on paper. Jazz has a new baby and Poppy’s getting married. But their realities are very different.
Poppy must strive to keep her cool new job with crazy hours, while trying to keep Ryan happy. Before she knows it her wedding has got out of control, thanks to her mother, the runners at work are bullying her, her parents are in financial difficulty, and she’s doubting everything and everyone she ever knew.
Meanwhile Jazz is struggling with motherhood, something a credit card won’t fix. Why won’t this baby give her a break? Will Jazz be able to cope before she loses it?
And will Poppy make it down the aisle? Will Ryan even be waiting?


Excerpt
Suddenly, out of nowhere, someone jumps in front of me and puts their arms round me. I don’t have time for my body to react as I lose my footing, dragging both of us down to the floor. My headphones get yanked out on the way down.
I gasp for air as my reality settles on me. Oh my God. I’m being attacked. I’m being raped.
I start whistling with all of my might and turn my rape alarm on, throwing it away from me. My God, it's SO loud!
WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP.
I close my eyes and continue to whistle. My heart is beating so hard I’m sure he can hear it. My attacker loosens their grip on me, but all I can do is lay there in shock, my eyes scrunched shut. If I don’t look at him I won't be able to identify him and then hopefully he won't have to kill me. I spit the whistle out of my mouth and start shouting.
‘HELP! RAPE! HELP! I’M BEING RAPED!’
I clench my body up in complete fright. My skin crawls from the thought of someone touching me. Please let Ryan save me. Please God, just let it be over quick.
‘You’re mental! Stop this!’ I hear from over the alarm.
I look up to see my attacker pull down his hood and begin to reveal his face.
‘No!’ I shout.
I don't want to see his face. If I see his face he’ll definitely kill me. He’ll know I’ll be able to identify him and won't waste any time in smashing my head in with a rock. I look around on the floor desperately for any kind of weapon. A big rock comes into focus. I scramble for it and smash him over the head with it.
He goes down like a sack of potatoes.
‘Fuck!’ he shouts, as he pulls the rest of the hood from his face.
Oh my God. It’s Richard! My brother Richard. What the fuck have I done?

Featured Review
Best friends Poppy and Jazz seem to have it all down pat. Jazz has just had a beautiful baby girl, Jemima, and Poppy’s newly engaged. Yet everything is not so simple or happy. Jazz’s baby-daddy is a jerk and Poppy’s new job is a hassle. In addition, Jazz is going through post-partum depression and Poppy’s lost control over her wedding to her mother and aunt. Will Jazz and Poppy be able to get everything under control before it explodes??
I absolutely loved The Baby & the Bride! There is just something side-stitchingly funny about British humor, even in the face of terrible events. I felt bad for both Poppy and Jazz – Poppy’s self-esteem is going down the drain and Jazz’s out of her mind trying to take care of baby Jemima all by herself. The absolute hilarity about the wedding plans and the three-ring circus Poppy’s mom is turning it into seems so over the top, but it definitely happens. I really liked learning more about Ryan’s family and getting in depth with some of the other secondary characters from the first book, The Debt & the Doormat. The author’s writing is snappy and really clicks with readers. The Baby & the Bride is an excellent book and I hope we see more of Jazz and Poppy in the future!

From the Author
My name is Laura Barnard and I am an author from Hertfordshire, UK. My first chick-lit novel, The Debt & the Doormat was an Amazon number 1 best-seller and won Best Laugh Out Loud Book of 2013.
In my spare time I enjoy drinking my body weight in tea, indulging in cupcakes the size of my face, drooling over hunks like Jamie Dornan, Ryan Gosling, and Leo Dicaprio ... oh and my husband of course! I like wearing yoga clothes and reading fitness magazines while I sit on the sofa and eat chocolate. I'm a real fan of the power nap and of course, READING!
I write not to get rich or famous, but because I LOVE writing. Even if one person tells me they enjoyed my book it makes the midnight typing worth it!

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