Thursday, May 16, 2013

"The Blogger's Guide to Absolutely Nothing" by Seumas Gallacher

The Blogger's Guide to Absolutely Nothing
by Seumas Gallacher

Humorous collection of blog posts by the Blogger of the Year.
From the author:
"…my Mama always taught me to ignore people who wanna give me good advice…and I usually ignore Mama’s advice on that…of late, countless gazillions of my faithful blog followers …well, maybe about two of them, (thank you Uncle Fred and Auntie Mabel)…have been blowing smoke in my ear about how much they enjoy reading my posts …some people are SO easily pleased , eh, luv?…and they said I should get a collection of them on to the Great God Kindle… far be it from me to rail against the platitudes of the multitudes…ergo, my newest, freshest, innocent-est little baby makes its bow today…Tarraa! …THE BLOGGER’S GUIDE TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...contained within its pages I can promise you no antidote to non-performing agents or publishers…nor any KwikFiks to acquiring film contracts and book deals by the lorry-load…in all humility, I offer you my nascent bumbling experience in climbing aboard the Writers’ Rickshaw…the immersion in all the unholy waters that comprise the Sosyal Networking maelstrom…the soporific seduction of the self publishing universe…and p’raps, just p’raps, provide an inkling into the marvellous family of authordom that abounds across the Web…if it raises a mild titter, or even the suggestion of a smile, I shall be well sated…please enjoy …if ye don’t like it, TELL ME…if ye like it, TELL YER PALS…Matron’s already censored it, and as a result promised me an extra large dollop from the syringe…here she comes…gotta go…see yeez later…"

Mr. Gallacher's 'Guide', may be to absolutely nothing, but it will certainly lead you somewhere. That somewhere may very well be to find a tissue to mop up the tea you just snorted right out of your nose, but it's definitely somewhere! Mr. Gallacher is an extraordinarily entertaining and funny writer with a distinct penchant for bringing out giggles, guffaws, and outright tears-running-down-your-cheeks positively painful gales of laughter.

About the Author
Seumas Gallacher was born in the cradle of the Govan shipyards in Glasgow in the so-called "bad old days" which were in reality the greatest of days, where everybody was a real character of note.
An early career as a trainee Scottish banker led to a spell in London, where his pretence to be a missionary converting the English locals fell on deaf ears.
Escape to the Far East in 1980 opened up access to cultures and societies on a global scale, eventually bringing the realisation that the world is quite simply one large extended village.
The lifelong desire to write has resulted in The Violin Man's Legacy, the first in the Jack Calder series.
Seumas says that finishing that novel was one of the best feelings he has ever experienced in a life full of rich emotions.
Vengeance Wears Black, the second book in the Jack Calder series, was released in July 2012. It will be followed soon by Savage Payback.
For further insights into the author, please read the interview by Gina McKnight.