Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Thursday, May 16, 2019

"Louisiana Latte" by Rebecca Henry


EXCERPT and GIVEAWAY
Louisiana Latte
by Rebecca Henry

Louisiana Latte by Rebecca Henry

Louisiana Latte by Rebecca Henry is currently on tour with Silver Dagger Book Tours. The tour stops here today for an excerpt and a giveaway. Please be sure to visit the other tour stops as well.


Description
Deb hadn’t flown in over 20 years. In 1989, at the age of 22, Deb was enrolled at Griffiss Airforce Base to become a commercial pilot. Somewhere between dating her yuppie fiancĂ© and planning their wedding in Chicago, Deb developed claustrophobia - a fear of enclosed spaces. I blame the yuppie. Deb couldn’t get on a plane for love that day, but she could do it 20 years later for money. Money was worth dying for.

Excerpt
Deb hasn’t flown in a plane for over twenty years. In 1989, at the age of twenty-two, Deb was enrolled in Embry Riddle aeronautical school, learning to fly commercial planes, but somewhere between dating her yuppie fiancĂ© and planning their wedding in Chicago, Deb developed both agoraphobia, a fear of open spaces and claustrophobia, fear of closed spaces. I blame the yuppie. On their way from Syracuse NY to Chicago, the yuppie placed so much pressure on Deb with wedding arrangements and meeting the wealthy stuck-up family that Deb’s chest began to tighten. The cabin crew were preparing for their takeoff announcements as Deb began to feel trapped. The Boeing 737 was transforming into a metal tin can with wings. Deb took Adam’s hand, seeking comfort. He sat motionless in his neatly pressed J Crew shirt and ironed jeans. His face was freshly shaven, and he smelled of sex and desire. Deb sighed loudly as her seatbelt began to dig into her skinny lap. She tried loosening the strap, but her hands trembled with anxiety. She placed a manicured finger to her neck; her throat was beginning to tighten. Adam the yuppie was staring at Deb as she fidgeted with the belt. “What are you doing?” he said, annoyed. “Just leave it alone.”
Deb began to take deep breaths, exhaling as she fanned herself with her hands.
“Deb, stop that. People are looking at you,” Adam growled. He hated scenes and cared highly what strangers thought of him. Deb looked at the man she was going to marry and said, “Nope! Not flying today!”
Adam became agitated, annoyed by Deb’s sudden display of theatrics. “Sit down and calm down, Deb!” He ran a hand through his black hair. “Jesus, you fly planes for Christ’s sakes, don’t give me this shit that you’re suddenly afraid to fly.” He grabbed Deb by the arm as she tried to stand up from her seat.
“Look Adam, I don’t know what’s going on...I just know I need to get off,” Deb said in the most forced pleasant tone she could muster. Deb raised her hand to the flight attendant who was walking down the aisle. “Hi there, sweetie! Excuse me!” Deb called, as she stood up, releasing her grasp from Adam’s controlling hand. Her three carat diamond ring flashed the flight attendant in the eye. “Hi, sweetie. I’m so sorry to do this now, right before takeoff but...I got to get off.” Deb reached for the overhead compartment, grabbing her coach bag, her butt accidentally hitting the man next to her. “Oh, so sorry, sweetie,” she said to the passenger.
“Not much room on this thing.” Deb patted her clammy chest, which was beginning to break out in a cold sweat. “God, can you feel it, it’s getting hot in here. Oh boy...it’s time for me to go.” The flight attendant looked down at Adam who was now in a full rage.
“Deb, will you stop this nonsense and sit back down.” His voice was stern, a father directing a child.
“Nope, don’t think I will. But I’ll meet you outside, okay babe!” Deb pleasantly pushed past the flight attendant, excusing herself as she made her way to the exit. She was wearing her first pair of Gucci stilettos and was making sure to tiptoe gracefully as she raced down the speckled blue carpet. The flight attendant quickly scurried in front of Deb as she approached the exit door.
“Ma’am, please take your seat. You are not supposed to be out of your seat before takeoff.” Deb eyed the flight attendant’s name tag. “Donna, I need you to listen very carefully to me, okay sweetie. I have to get off this plane.” Deb was pushing down the edges of her miniskirt. She could feel the cabin closing in, the plane was shrinking.
Donna stretched out her arms, blocking Deb. “Ma’am, you can’t get off this plane. You must return to your seat and I will come around to speak with you momentarily.” Deb glanced at Donna’s bad dye job; black roots were showing through her bleached hair. Donna’s face had a perfect ring along her jawline where the foundation stopped. Deb wanted to give her a quick crash course in fundamental foundation rules on applying makeup, but Donna’s face began to swirl as Deb’s nausea began to rise. Deb placed a hand on her forehead, trying to steady the swaying. 
“Donna, I can’t go back to my seat, I can’t stay on this plane.” Donna raised an eyebrow at Deb. 
“What I need to do, Donna, is get off. So, if you would be a doll and just scoot over so I can fit through the aisle and make my way to the door, I would appreciate it.”
Donna glanced at the other flight attendant standing behind Deb. “Ma’am, the engines have started.” Donna pointed in the air. “Can’t you hear? I cannot let you off the plane.”
Deb began to panic. A burning sensation was rising up from her stomach, scorching her arms, making its way to her head. She felt hot all over. The cabin was closing in, crunching her.
“Donna, just go talk to the pilot, explain to him I need to get off. He’ll understand and open the doors so I can leave.”
Donna braced her arms against Deb’s body. “Ma’am, I will not tell you again. You need to go back to your seat, and someone will be with you shortly to talk you through this.”
Deb pressed her face against the window. She could see the wheels on the plane moving. An intense fear struck Deb, she realized she had to get off that second. “Talk to me!” Deb’s voice was frantic, growing louder with each syllable. “What the hell is talking going to do for me? I’M IN FEAR! I HAVE FEAR! I need to get off and either you will remove yourself from my path or go get the pilot!”
“The pilot? You want me to go speak to the pilot?” That’s when Donna realized Deb had lost her rabbit ass mind.
[Want more? Click below to read a longer excerpt.]


Praise for the Book
“I was hooked the whole time in this story of two sisters …” ~ Paul V. Rigsby
“That book caught me from page 1! I recommend it for those people that live life with full passion! I will be reading more of this author’s books for sure!” ~ Joann Solari
Louisana Latte is character driven with a perfect pace for an afternoon sipping tea on the porch or cocktails on the beach. It is light and funny. I found myself giggling throughout the book. I also found myself caring about her characters. The last chapter is exactly how it needed to end.” ~ Elane Finn
“This short read is a must buy book. A funny and feel good chick-lit comedy like no other, the story flows smoothly and creates a unique bond between Becky and Deb that is rarely felt in novels, and yet will feel real and familiar to many families out there. If you enjoy a hilarious and quick witted comedy, then be sure to grab your copy of Louisiana Latte by Rebecca Henry today.” ~ Anthony Avina
“The author does a wonderful job of describing the characters and giving them a life of their own. A book full of humorous situations makes this a fun read.” ~ mbb0623

About the Author
Rebecca Henry
Rebecca Henry is a newly published author. Her debut novel is The Lady Raven, A Dark Cinderella Tale, which was published in 2017. The Lady Raven, is for those who have an infinity for fairy tales retold with a link to witches, magic and the macabre. Her second novel, Louisiana Latte, a chick lit comedy was released February 28th 2019. Louisiana Latte, is a feel good comedy that focuses on the bonds of sisters, and how audacious life can be when you have a diva for one!
Rebecca Henry is a world traveler living abroad in England. Besides being an author of two published books, Rebecca is also a podcast talk host on the show The Latte Talk. The podcast was inspired by her latest novel, Louisiana Latte and her diva sister Deb. She is a serious vegan, gardener, crafter, wife and mom who practices yoga. She loves to laugh, her drug of choice and loves all things witchy with a hint of the macabre. Her favorite holiday is Halloween, and her favorite movie of all time is Practical Magic.

Giveaway
Enter the tour-wide giveaway for a chance to win a Louisiana Latte swag pack.



Links

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Wednesday, April 10, 2019

"The Honeymooner" by Melanie Summers


EXCERPT and GIVEAWAY
The Honeymooner
(Paradise Bay Book 1)
by Melanie Summers

The Honeymooner (Paradise Bay Book 1) by Melanie Summers

The Honeymooner is the first book in the Paradise Bay series by Melanie Summers. Get your copy FREE to 11 April.


Also available: Whisked Away.

Whisked Away by Melanie Summers

This book blitz and giveaway is hosted by Xpresso Book Tours.


Description
From bestselling author Melanie Summers comes the wickedly funny, ridiculously romantic spinoff of her highly-acclaimed Crown Jewels series …
Twenty-eight-year-old workaholic Libby Dewitt lives by the motto ‘if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.’ She’s finally about to start her dream life with her steady-as-a-rock fiancĂ©, Richard Tomy. Together, they’re the perfect power couple - right down to the fact that he’s agreed to use their honeymoon to help further her career in mergers and acquisitions. But ten minutes before the wedding, her dreams dissolve via text message.
Devastated and humiliated, Libby escapes to Paradise Bay alone. She’s got two goals for her trip: to devise a plan to get Richard back and to convince resort owner Harrison Banks to sell his property to her company. Unfortunately, when she arrives, she discovers that tall, dark, and built, Harrison is not about to make anything easy for her.
Instead, he derails her plans while at the same time, bringing out a side of Libby she’s kept carefully tucked away - a carefree, adrenaline junkie. After a few days together, Harrison’s got her wondering if the life she always wanted was meant for some other girl. Suddenly, Libby must decide which version of herself she wants to be.
Will she go back to her comfortable, safe life, or risk everything to be with the only man who’s ever made her feel truly alive?

Excerpt
“Oh my God...did we...?" I press the sheet to me again, gripping it so tightly, my knuckles turn white.
"You don't remember? It was amazing. The earth moved. And you—you were loud enough that we probably cleared out the entire resort.” He grins at me, then rolls off the bed and starts across the room, giving me a view of his muscly back and behind. Those are some seriously tight shorts.
No, Libby! Do not focus on his taut buttocks! You are not that kind of girl. "I’m very sorry, but I'm afraid I don't remember any of it."
“None of it?” he asks.
When I shake my head, he says, “That's a real crime because it was the best night you’ve ever had. You told me as much right after round three.” Opening the mini-fridge, he grabs a bottle of water and takes off the lid. “At least I have it all on video."
"What?!" My pulse speeds up, and I suddenly feel both hot and dizzy. What have I turned into? Some kind of hussy? Or worse—my mother?
"I didn't think it was a good idea, but you were pretty insistent." He shrugs, then crosses the room and holds the bottle of water out to me.
I take it cautiously, then shrink back from him a bit. Why would a man this hot do whatever predictable, boring old Libby Dewitt said to do?
In an instant, it all makes perfect sense. My heart sinks and I let out a loud groan. “You’re a gigolo, aren’t you?”
“What?”
“Listen, I don’t know what I told you last night, but I can’t afford to pay you. I’m a little low on cash at the—”
“I’m not a gigolo.”
“Then why would you…?” I don’t really know how to put this. Why would someone as hot as you sleep with a very plain Jane like me?
“Why would I what?” He folds his arms across his broad chest.
My words come out rushed. “Sleep with someone like me.”
“Are you kidding right now?” he asks, raising one eyebrow.
“No, I’m afraid not.” I shake my head, then wince because my brain is pounding and because I really don’t want to hear his answer. I’ve had enough rejection for one weekend. Before he can say anything, I take a wild stab at it. “Now I get it, you’re one of those guys with extremely low standards. The type who’ll sleep with anything with a pulse.” I gasp again. “Oh my God. I probably have an STD by now, don’t I?”
“Ouch,” he says, rubbing at his chest. “You’re pretty mean when you’re sober.”
“Sorry. I don’t mean to insult you. I’m honestly just very confused.” I sigh and close my eyes for a second, unable to stand the look of hurt in his strikingly brilliant hazel eyes. “Maybe it would be best if you just left. I’m really not myself at the moment.”
“Okay, but it might make more sense if you left.”
“Why?” I ask, opening my eyes again.
“This is my room.”
[Want more? Click below to read a longer excerpt.]


Praise for the Book
“ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! The Honeymooner is a must read … I didn't want this book to end. Get it today and start laughing.” ~ Jilleen, SeasideBooknook.com
“A must read! More than 5 stars! Melanie Summers could write a menu and I'd read it ... I love her stories, they are all heart and soul. All I can say is I want to move to Paradise Bay!” ~ Lori Zenobia, Goodreads Reviewer
“This book was chock full of laugh-out-loud comical moments, swoony romance, and scenes that gave me all the feels. And the author did a wonderful job of setting the stage for future Paradise Bay books starring Harrison's siblings, which I can't wait to read! If you haven't read a Melanie Summers books yet, what are you waiting for? They are a guaranteed good time.” ~ BrainyBlonde
“A highly entertaining romantic novel, this book had me smiling and laughing throughout the reading of it. […] I thoroughly enjoyed this novel as it is not only well written but incredibly funny and entertaining as well. Although this book apparently is part of a series, it is nevertheless a standalone and comes to a delightful ending.” ~ Margaret Watkins
“Absolutely entertaining and all around great book!” ~ Yana


About the Author
Melanie Summers
Melanie Summers also writes steamy romance as MJ Summers.
Melanie made a name for herself with her debut novel, Break in Two, a contemporary romance that cracked the Top 10 Paid on Amazon in both the UK and Canada, and the top 50 Paid in the USA. Her highly acclaimed Full Hearts series was picked up by both Piatkus Entice (a division of Hachette UK) and HarperCollins Canada. Her first three books have been translated into Czech and Slovak by EuroMedia. Since 2013, she has written and published three novellas and eight novels (of which seven have been published). She has sold over a quarter of a million books around the globe.
In her previous life (i.e., before having children), Melanie got her Bachelor of Science from the University of Alberta, then went on to work in the soul-sucking customer service industry for a large cellular network provider that shall remain nameless (unless you write her personally - then she'll dish). On her days off, she took courses and studied to become a Chartered Mediator. That designation landed her a job at the R.C.M.P. as the Alternative Dispute Resolution Coordinator for ‘K’ Division. Having had enough of mediating arguments between gun-toting police officers, she decided it was much safer to have children so she could continue her study of conflict in a weapon-free environment (and one which doesn't require makeup and/or nylons).
Melanie resides in Edmonton with her husband, three young children, and their adorable but neurotic one-eyed dog. When she's not writing novels, Melanie loves reading (obviously), snuggling up on the couch with her family for movie night (which would not be complete without lots of popcorn and milkshakes), and long walks in the woods near her house. She also spends a lot more time thinking about doing yoga than actually doing yoga, which is why most of her photos are taken ‘from above’. She also loves shutting down restaurants with her girlfriends. Well, not literally shutting them down, like calling the health inspector or something - more like just staying until they turn the lights off.
She is represented by Suzanne Brandreth of The Cooke Agency International.

Giveaway
Enter the tour-wide giveaway for a chance to win a $100 Amazon gift card plus a signed copy of The Honeymooner Full Colour Book Lover’s Edition (open internationally).

Links
Amazon (Kindle Unlimited)

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Saturday, April 29, 2017

"Shopping for a CEO's Wife" by Julia Kent

EXCERPT and GIVEAWAY
Shopping for a CEO's Wife
(Shopping for a Billionaire Book 12)
by Julia Kent




This book blitz and giveaway is brought to you by Xpresso Book Tours.


More books by this author: Random Acts of Crazy (FREE; read my blog post) and It's Always Complicated (read my blog post).

Description
The New York Times bestselling romantic comedy series continues ...
Snowbound. Sounds so romantic, with visions of cuddling before a roaring fire, hot chocolate spiked with brandy, and a secret elopement.
Wait. What?
My fiancĂ©’s father won’t stop trying to turn our pending wedding into a three-ring media circus so he can get free publicity for his family’s Fortune 500 company. My mother has decided she’s done with All Things Wedding and asks her teacup Chihuahua for mother-of-the-bride advice.
They’ve all gone certifiably mad.
Then the stress from the wedding puts my mother in the hospital, I scream at my future father-in-law in front of a camera crew and the video goes viral, and the romantic wedding that started with Andrew’s grand Pride and Prejudice proposal looks less like Jane Austen and more like Dostoyevsky.
So what do you do when you’re a fixer and you can’t fix something?
You give up on it.
Not on Andrew, silly.
The wedding.
Shopping for a CEO’s Wife is the 12th book in Julia Kent’s New York Times bestselling Shopping for a Billionaire series. As Shannon and Declan enjoy their newlywed bliss, Andrew’s father wants to exploit Amanda and Andrew’s nuptials, much to Amanda’s chagrin. Can she learn to stand up to her future father-in-law and fight for what’s right? But the real question is: will Spritzy the teacup Chihuahua end up being a flower girl?


Excerpt
Bzzz.
Saved by his phone. Andrew scrolls through his texts with a half grin. I know that look. He thinks he won. Won what? I decide on the spot that we weren’t having an argument. Not even a heated discussion. This is what being in a lifelong relationship is all about, right?
Pacing. I have to pace myself when it comes to conflicts, big and small. Especially small. Letting him think he won this one is important. Give an inch.
Take a mile later.
“It’s Dad again,” Andrew says with that mysterious new tone of voice he’s developed. I watch him as he reads his phone, eyes drifting over the screen, hair messy from the skiing earlier. Deep brown eyes narrow as he reacts to whatever his dad said. The muscle between his jaw and ear pokes out with tension as he swallows and swipes on his phone. He blinks rapidly, but his breathing doesn’t speed up.
He’s irritated, but not angry. Annoyed, but not pissed.
I tuck away his reaction in my mental database.
Lately, I find myself watching him with a strange fascination. Openly, obviously, and without hesitation. Andrew doesn’t seem to mind. I know he knows I’m doing it, but so far, he hasn’t questioned me. If he were to ask, I couldn’t tell him why. I don’t know why.
Yet I do it, day in and day out.
“What did he say now?” I ask politely, knowing the answer.
“It’s about the wedding,” Andrew answers, giving me a look that says, Of course. “He insists we need to hold it at Farmington, like Declan’s wedding.”
“Why?”
“His PR team says it’ll get more press. All the major media outlets will station vans there, and the comparisons will generate easier headlines.”
“What does that mean?”
Andrew rolls his eyes. He reaches across my lap and grabs his abandoned coffee mug. The stretch makes his shirt hike up slightly, exposing his waistline, a thin wedge of tanned muscle coming into sight. I catalog it, like I always do these days, and wonder when this will become boring.
“Dad thinks that the press will be more invested if they can sensationalize our wedding ceremony. ‘Will they or won’t they escape?’” Andrew uses one hand to make finger quotes.
“He expects us to be in Declan and Shannon’s shadow on our wedding day?”
“That’s exactly what I said to Dad! Almost word for word. And I told him no. Hell, no.”
“What was his response?”
“That we should ask your mother.”


Praise for the Book
"Shopping for a CEO's Wife by Julia Kent is everything you expect from Julia Kent and so much more. Andrew and Amanda have so much more depth than you expect." ~ Sue O.
"The complex and varied people in this story all blend into a sweet, exciting, heartfelt, love story that you can’t put down until it’s finished." ~ Linda Carlson
"You will not be disappointed in this book." ~ Lauren Roth
"Highly entertaining, Laugh Out Loud, steaming hot ..." ~ Cali
"I laughed so much while reading this book that I couldn't put it down until I finished. Yes, it is a standalone book, but you'll miss some of the jokes if you haven't read the previous books." ~ Lois Pipkin

About the Author
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men's room toilet (and he isn't a billionaire). She lives in New England with her husband and three sons in a household where the toilet seat is never, ever, down.


Giveaway
Enter the blitz-wide giveaway for a chance to win $25 Gyft.com gift card.

Plus, enter the author's release celebration giveaway for a chance to win a $50 Gyft.com gift card or one of ten signed paperback copies of Shopping for a CEO's Wife (ends 5 May).


Links