Monday, September 17, 2012

"In Her Own Words... Interview with a London Call Girl (Soul Destruction)" by Ruth Jacobs

In Her Own Words... Interview with a London Call Girl (Soul Destruction)
by Ruth Jacobs

This is the unedited transcript from a video interview Ruth Jacobs undertook with a London call girl in the late 1990s. Please note that it is only 6 pages long.
It is an enlightening and moving, firsthand account of a woman’s life affected by prostitution, exposing the emotional, psychological, and social effects of living that existence.
With this publication, Ruth hopes to show the reality of life for women working in prostitution, the effects it has on them psychologically, emotionally, in relationships with men, how they are viewed and how they feel they are viewed by society as outsiders and outcasts, often judged and looked down on. Seeing them as real people, with real feelings, and acquiring an insight into their tormented childhoods and painful present lives, allows people who are not in that life to gain an informed perception of who these women really are, and with that knowledge, are less likely to judge.
In Her Own Words... Interview with a London Call Girl is available for only $0.99 (US) or 77p (UK). All royalties received from the sale will be donated to Beyond the Streets, a charity helping women exit prostitution.

From a young age, from like being fifteen, I’ve been hardened to it. The first…when I first started doing it, I cried my eyes out every day and just scrubbed myself in bleach and…I felt like I’d been raped. It was just…it really screwed my mind up. And there’s this feeling when you get…when you’re with a client and it’s like sometimes when you feel like…you grab your fists and it’s like, “Get off me! Get off me!” And it’s like…you know you can’t push them off you, right? Because you know you’re getting paid for it. So it’s basically allowing yourself to be raped, right? But you can’t even fight them back or say, “Get off me.” It’s like…and you cry while it’s happening and all this shit, and you go home and you cry yourself to sleep after all that shit, and it happens to you a lot of times until eventually that feeling goes away, and that feeling…you don’t get that feeling anymore.

The beauty of this powerful and short piece is that it allows the reader to feel the despair behind the woman, the fear that any intimacy will shatter her world. Although you know that she is not having "fun" when working, she has no idea what fun is, so everything short of utter degradation is called "fun." Her tragedy becomes visceral knowing that she cannot voice her nightmare, her language had to shrink and twist itself into her reality. Or perhaps, she never experienced a reality much outside the prison walls she speaks from. Either way, the readers' heart aches knowing that her world is closing in on her rapidly.
Should anyone from the porn/sex industry take her words literally, know that they lack empathy utterly and are sociopaths. This is a piece to be read with a wide-open heart and a box of tissues nearby.

From the Author
The video interview has been transcribed completely unedited, including every broken sentence and pause. I have considered editing, but as the woman I interviewed (referred to as Q) is no longer alive, I feel it would be wrong to make any changes without her consent. The words in this book are Q’s, and to respect her, her memory, and the fearlessness and courage she showed in disclosing her innermost self, I have left her words untouched.
This charity publication and the cause is very close to my heart, even more so because the woman I interviewed was a dear friend, a wonderful person, and who had a painful life, with childhood sexual abuse and then being pimped on the streets from the age of fifteen. After escaping from her pimp, she moved to London and began working as a call girl.
From making this publication available, I hope to change the stigma some of society has against women who work in prostitution, which is mainly through lack of knowledge. 75% of women working as prostitutes have been sexually and physically abused as children, 70% have experienced multiple rapes, and 67% meet the criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder, which is a major cause of suicide.

About the Author
Ruth Jacobs studied prostitution in the late 1990s, which sparked her interest in the subject. Her novels dispel the 'happy hooker' myth and expose the dark world and the harsh reality of life as a call girl. She draws on her research and the women she interviewed for inspiration. She also has firsthand experience of some of the topics she writes about, such as posttraumatic stress disorder and drug and alcohol addiction.
Soul Destruction: Unforgivable, Ruth's debut novel, follows Shelley Hansard, a heroin addicted, crack psychotic, London call girl who gets the opportunity to take revenge on a client who raped her. Her second novel, Soul Destruction Diary, can be read on her website. The story follows Nicole O'Connell, Shelley Hansard's closest friend in the first book, as she travels to Sydney, Australia, in the hope of breaking her heroin habit. The diary charts Nicole's time there - the numerous people she meets and the situations, some dangerous and life threatening, in which she finds herself.
More information on the Soul Destruction series can be found on the website.